1825 days

Hello all!

As some may know I took a break from blogging to expand our family, and I felt I needed to revamp things since my life is now SO full with not one miracle but two! I hope you enjoy my new blog, being a mom is the best job ever, and my very first priority! I hope to continue to update friends and family with the ups, downs and everything in between that happens in this place called motherhood. 

January 9th, 2013 is a day that I witnessed nightmares and miracles all happening at the same time, and while there is nothing I enjoy more than watching my son grow, thrive and smile...those hours leading up to, during and after the event of Liam’s birth will never leave me even if I wanted them to. Some of those moments broke my heart and there is no number of years that can pass that will ever ease that pain. And now we are going on 5 years... exactly 1,825 days later not only am I able to tell the story without crying, I am able to tell the story in a way so that other people don’t want to cry either-  that makes me SO damn proud of myself! (FYI if you don't know our story please look back to post #1) I would like to give you a little bit of an idea what it has been like on the other side of things..you see, most of you have been on the receiving end of our story...however I wanted to give you a bit of insight what it is like here, in my shoes...so- let's start right at the beginning. 

My very first experience was with the RN who delivered Liam. I will never forget her, and so Sue if you are reading this by some chance, I feel the need to say sorry. You see, this nurse literally told me she couldn't step foot into an OR after what happened with us (I spoke with her a few days afterwards), she was so shaken up about it. It was hard to hear how negatively my little miracle had impacted the medical team, but it helped me understand that the intensity of what we went thru was truly felt by others as well, looking back as bad as I felt I needed to hear that I wasn't alone. Sue reinforced to me that there were just no warning signs, I was so completely....stable... We cried together. I heard about some of the NICU nurses that were quite upset as well, given that I was a completely healthy woman and had such a poor outcome.

I had a close friend who was expecting at the time I delivered, she had roughly 3 months to go with her pregnancy. She knew things were not going smoothly and so when she called for an update and I didn't respond she became alarmed, when I was finally able to talk to her, I didn't think it through and I told the truth- I will never forget her crying on the phone to me as I lay in the ICU thinking to myself  -- if SHE is crying this really must be the nightmare I feel like it is because she is not the over emotional type. I wish I would have told her not to worry this couldn't happen to her too since it was a 1 in a million outcome...but I don't even think I was able to get that statement out. I realized at that moment how much power my story had to literally scare and upset women, especially those of childbearing age.

After we were at home a few weeks Liam was evaluated by the county for services, I vividly remember the case worker telling me after having 3 kids she thought she had seen and heard it all and was practically in tears and told me "I just don't know what to even say to you" ..

Some people in my life weren't even told....family and friends decided that since they were pregnant it would be best if they didn't know until later. At times it didn't even take me telling my story....once I was getting a test at the doctors office, and I heard the med tech breaking down outside my room after reading my chart history, they had to send someone else in to attend to me. Thru the door I heard the nurse practitioner consoling this med tech saying "this literally couldn't happen" ...."this is not something you need to be scared about"...yet the young woman kept persisting "but how do you know for sure- now I don't even know if I want to get pregnant!" I remember it went on for a few minutes and I thought to myself, I should really tell them that patients can hear thru the closed doors... I am sure I am not the first person that heard something I probably wasn't supposed to! On my way out I saw this med tech that had gotten upset, and all she said to me was, "You are a very brave woman." I was getting tests to get clearance to go forward with another pregnancy..I guess I should have consoled her more, but at the time I thought it best if I just left.

There have been times that during a conversation birth stories came up with friends and I have struggled so hard to give a watered down version of events, yet people inquire to know more and more until they end up knowing the entire story...and it usually ends something along the lines of “wow I don’t know if I would have made it thru something like that, I don’t know how you did it".. please believe me when I tell you this does not make me feel strong, or good, or deserving of praise. Going thru all of this made me not want to recount my story to even strangers. I remember taking Liam to the playground and there was a group of moms chatting, telling the tales of birth and being a new mom. I knew how the conversation would turn if I joined in so instead I decided I would just keep to myself. After I went home I was so angry with myself that I was not able to rise above my experiences...at the time I really could have used some mom friends and support.


 So...as I said I feel like I have come along way in this journey, I am SO happy to say that just TODAY I was able to have a friendly conversation while giving a brief “snapshot” of my first birth experience, without turning the conversation scary, having to recount the whole story, or making anyone upset, including myself! This was very important especially since I was at a baby shower. In the past in a situation like this I would have just kept to myself altogether.. now I finally think I am strong enough that I don't have to do that anymore! I don't pat myself on the back much, but today was a huge accomplishment!

So what is next? Well I am pretty sure the next challenge will be how we tell our absolutely brilliant child about his story. This will be a whole entire new mountain for us to climb as a family, and this is something I have been so ever nervous about in the past...but now I know it will happen the way its supposed to, just like everything else!

**The best advice I can give anyone, including myself is this: God will only give you what you can handle.***

Love, 

A very proud mama 

Miracles in Motion

Hi Everyone! We have some awesome news to give you in this blog update! Liam had a swallow study completed yesterday morning. It was by no means an easy task...Liam is scarred forever after the horrible experience  he had when he was 18 months during a swallow study- I was SO nervous and SO happy my amazing husband was with me so we could fight through this together. As soon as we walked thru those big doors and Liam saw the radiology machine and the vests come out he freaked out. For the first 10 minutes he did nothing but scream which broke my heart, we all kept trying to soothe him. I eventually broke down and turned on mickey mouse and it was a miracle in itself that I was able to get any reception! After his tantrums subsided we were able to get him to drink from a cup and he actually enjoyed it! After every sip he took we all cheered like he was a celebrity and he soaked up all that attention. During the study Liam drank from a regular cup (water mixed with barium) as well as from a straw and his sippy cup. The results showed immense improvement in Liam's ability to swallow. I cannot tell you how happy, proud, and blessed we feel....the emotion is literally too great for words...I am not even quite sure if it has all processed yet! Our miracles just keep showing up in so many different places, and even in the form of foundations, therapists doctors, and technologies. We could not be more grateful to have access to a place like Good Shepard Rehab, with Vital Stim therapy which may have made this miracle possible. This milestone is huge for us and I am thanking God! As a side note, the swallow study did not come back 100 % perfect, Liam still has somewhat of a delayed swallow reflex which is minor cause for concern and we will continue with therapy to attempt to improve this, but the big news is he is no longer at very high risk for aspiration, and now we can teach our little man how to drink from a big boy cup just like all the other kids in daycare... and even better we no longer need to teach family and caregivers how to mix the dreaded thick it into our sons drinks. We are absolutely thrilled. But this isn't the only news we have to share...

Liam has made HUGE improvements with physical therapy! Before when he would jump on his trampoline, or anywhere for that matter, his legs were stiff and rigid, and looked quite awkward. Liam didn't enjoy jumping on his trampoline for too long. With some Physical therapy and core strengthening Liam now bounces all over the place, and when he jumps and hops he lands with BENT knees with great ease. To see how much fun he now is having makes this mama so incredibly happy I could never find the words to explain. We are still looking into some minor issues with Liam's feet and ankles, and getting some orthotics in his shoes is being discussed. However,  we could not be happier with all of the improvements in Liam's development and we wanted to share with you the amazing things going on with our miracle baby. He makes us smile everyday. There are moments I want to be stern with him and we end up giggling so hard we have tears. He lights up my life in a way I never could have imagined, and I can't wait for what is to come.

That is all for now, the Nagy family sincerely hopes you all are staying warm and only going out in the snow for fun! Love to all, xoxo : )

Happy Birthday, Liam David!

Hi everyone! I hope the holidays treated you well, ours were happy and healthy! So a very special boy has a birthday coming up! On Friday 1/9/2015 at 2:13 pm Liam David will be TWO years old. I cannot understand how this is possible, the time has gone by so quickly! For some parents a two year old birthday might not seem like that big of a deal.....but for our family Liam's birthday will always be something to celebrate. In the hours after Liam's birth we were faced with the possibility that our baby might not make it, and that if he did his "capacity" would be unknown until a later date. For days on end we prayed our hearts out that our little fighter would come through, and he did in BIG ways. As a parent, these hours and days following Liam's birth made me realize that that I would NEVER take a single moment for granted....and also that I never wanted to be too far away from him for too long : ) Even though it has been 729 days of sheer miracles and triumph...... I still struggle with the weeks and days leading up to my son's birthday, and I believe a part of me always will. For the most part, I have conquered my demons surrounding the scary delivery we experienced, but during this time of year my anger and guilt begin to nag at me. There are several things that should have been different about my son's delivery- but at the end of the day it happened as God intended. No matter what, this is always where I end up...if it takes an hour or a week. Overall, I am just SO relieved that I get to enjoy this little miracle man as much as I do! His laughs and smiles are the light in my darkest of days, my hope when I feel low, and my motivation when I feel weak. There is nothing I wouldn't do to hear this little boy laugh or see his face light up.  I could let hours pass kicking a ball with him or playing with trains or make believe food....nothing in my life has made me as happy as being his mommy, and I am so grateful to see him thriving and doing so well. Liam is talking up a storm, and so physically strong sometimes I worry he is stronger than me! He is starting to communicate about what he wants, what he doesn't want, and even talking in phrases. It is SO funny how the first 6 months of development seemed to take a lifetime, and since then the developmental phases keep getting faster to the point that I cannot even keep up anymore!  He can count to ten in English and Spanish, and can say his ABC's! One of the most frequent words out of his mouth is "mickey!" I am pretty sure my child loves mickey mouse more than chocolate, if this is possible : )  For now we continue with our stim and PT sessions at Good Shepard waiting for some positive results....but if nothing else my husband and I know we have a truly special child that makes this world a better place to live in! Dysphagia and some mild low tone aren't enough to get us down... if anything it has made us a stronger, happier family! We learn to laugh at the little things, not to cry over spilled milk, and keep on keeping on! So happy birthday to a little man who had a rough start, who's first breath left him forever a warrior in our eyes, who continues to show us the beauty of strong will, the strength of a fighting spirit, and remind us how a deep belly laugh can change our entire day, and of course that angels really do watch over us! Liam David you have stolen our hearts, transformed our lives for the better, and continue to make us SO proud everyday! We love you!!! <3

Early Intervention Services

Early intervention services is a state program to assist in identifying and treating developmental delays and disabilities for children ages 0-5. Liam began with Northampton County Early Intervention at just a few months old to evaluate his muscle tone. To qualify for services in Early Intervention at least one of the following criteria needs to be met:

· At the evaluation a score of 1.5 standard deviation or a 25% developmental delay in one or more of the areas listed above or,
· A child must have a physical or mental condition/diagnosis that has a high probability for a developmental delay or,
· An Informed Clinical opinion can be used to determination that a child requires supports and services even though they might not have a developmental delay according to the score of the evaluation.


We have been very grateful that this program is set up in such a way that Liam will qualify for services even though he doesn't necessarily have a 25% developmental delay... Liam qualifies for services based on the fact that he has a diagnosis of Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy, a traumatic brain injury which occurred during birth. Unfortunately this diagnosis will stay with him for the rest of his life. Early Intervention has been consistently evaluating, monitoring, and treating Liam for the following conditions: torticollis;evaluating/monitoring for equal and adequate muscle tone; delayed speech; aspiration of thin liquids, and most recently low muscle tone and foot pronation. We have worked with the following: physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and feeding therapy. We have the highest hopes for our little man that any issues that have arrived or arrive in the future can be quickly identified and treated. With a diagnosis of HIE, it may be hard to identify something abnormal that is occurring with the infant/child, even if there are 6 or 8 doctors involved in their care. This is partly due to doctors appointments running 15-20 minutes and most of the time we are told there are no large issues and we should be happy with how "high functioning" Liam is. Every doctor that has ever seen Liam has been overly supportive of EI services because they monitor/treat children in one hour intervals which is so important in identifying potential issues before they snowball into something larger. We have been very satisfied with the care we have received and continue to receive, as they are such an integral support system for us first time parents attempting to navigate this diagnosis.

In the latest news, we are so proud to say that Liam has been discharged from speech therapy. Liam was noted to have a minor speech delay at about 13 months. Immediately after this was discovered, we learned that Liam was aspirating thin fluids, which was causing his chronic ear infections, and what we now believe may have caused his asthma and multiple respiratory infections throughout his first year. Since we have been treating the aspiration by thickening fluids, Liam's ears and lungs have cleared up and his vocabulary "took off" with some extra assistance with speech therapy. Liam has been discharged as he now has the ability to speak and communicate at a more advanced rate that some other children his age. There are times I am absolutely blown away by the things Liam says, remembers and communicates to me. He can now tell us his first, middle, and last name!

Liam has been involved with feeding therapy for the better part of a year, which has assisted us in identifying that Liam may have some low tone/sensory issues in his mouth/throat. These issues were often previously leading to stuffing, and pocketing of food. Liam also had a tendency to "chug" fluids which we recently learned predisposes him to more aspiration even if fluids are thickened. Feeding therapy assists us in rerouting these behaviors, and they have drastically decreased with time. At this point we have our feeding therapy sessions once monthly just to have someone overseeing Liam's progress in the home, while we continue with NMES treatments at Good Shepard to hopefully treat Liam's aspiration/delayed swallow. 

Liam was previously discharged from physical therapy as no issues were noted at the age of 12 months. I recently requested another evaluation after the Lehigh Valley Hospital therapist picked up that Liam has some pronation of his ankles, which may be caused by low tone. Unfortunately...this session identified some abnormal behaviors and possible underlying tone issues. 

We identified that Liam is still pronating his feet, left more than right. Basically, this looks like this:

 

Our game plan with this issue is to assist Liam in developing a "natural" arch by challenging him physically with several different surfaces in bare feet. This is one of the large reasons we will be taking Liam to The Little Gym! If this issue does not resolve by age of 3, Liam may need supports placed in his shoe to prevent any complications or injuries. In addition, we have also found during our evaluation with physical therapy that when Liam jumps, he lands on straight legs. (I have thought that this seems odd!) Our therapist has explained to us that Liam has some low tone in his hips and knees, as he should definitely be landing on bent knees. If this continues Liam is at risk for hyperextension and possible injury, which we of course want to avoid! We also noticed that Liam does not like to come down the steps using both feet. Liam only comes down with left foot leading unless we really work with him to do otherwise. After this last therapy session, it has been decided that Liam is experiencing some weak eccentric contractions in his legs, which I will try to show you below:

We have been assured that these muscles can be strengthened, and have been given exercises to do. We are excited to get Liam a mini trampoline to help him strengthen these muscles! Liam has found such a brilliant way of compensating for these weaknesses that he is not having a hard time keeping up with other kids his age. We are very confident that Liam will strengthen these muscles and continue to amaze us! I have set up an evaluation at Good Shepard's physical therapy gym, just for an extra opinion since they are so wonderful. As a mom, it cannot hurt to have more information! I will keep you posted on our journey!

That's all for now! We are very excited for the upcoming holidays with our little miracle! We hope everyone has a joyous holiday season, Love to all <3

Latest on Liam

Hi everyone! I wanted to give you all a very brief update. We started therapy at Good Shepard Rehab a few weeks ago doing VitalStim therapy three days a week for Liam's dysphagia. Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday we take Liam's breakfast and see a speech therapist who administers the therapy. Liam is doing awesome! He helps the girls "clean" his skin with the prep pad and even puts his head all the way back so they can put the "stickers" on his throat. I wanted to take pictures so you all could see what this looks like but unfortunately Good Shepard does not allow any picture taking. Liam is so brave, there are times the stim is uncomfortable and he gives me a sad face and starts whining and pulling at the stickers...it is so hard for me to watch and I just want to cry, but over time I have realized that putting some kid music on pandora really helps distract him. Each day, the intensity of the stim treatments are increased, and eventually we hope to find Liam's therapeutic level. When the stim treatment is administered we give Liam spoonfuls of water for him to practice swallowing. We often hear the familiar "gurgles" when the liquid does not go down the correct way. When we identify this, we try to get Liam to cough, to clear or move the liquid from where ever it is. Liam has done really well with all of this, and he is starting to clear his throat on his own!  We don't know how long the treatments will last at this time. What we do know is that at some point in the future Liam will have another swallow study to tell us if things have improved, but the therapists feel it will be a while longer until this happens. Sorry if this isn't the best update but words are starting to go blurry...until next time I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween and is enjoying lots of candy! Love to all!

VitalStim Therapy

Hi Everyone! We have some big news we want to share with you! As most of you may know, Liam was recently found to have dysphagia, or difficulty swallowing. Since April of this year, we have been treating Liam's dysphagia with traditional methods including thickened liquids which helps prevent aspiration of liquid into the lungs, as well as weekly sessions in feeding therapy with an occupational therapist. We are absolutely astounded by the progress Liam has made in the last few months....there are no other words to explain how excited we are. The dysphagia was causing aspiration. What this means is that when Liam was drinking fluids they were not going down his esophagus as they were supposed to. We have learned that the aspiration was causing some issues. For example,  Liam had chronic ear infections which caused an inability to hear properly, leading to a mild speech delay, which then lead to a mild communication delay. On top of this, Liam's first year of life was riddled with several high fevers that required constant antibiotics, asthma with frequent wheezing which required daily nebulizers to help him breathe, and other several eye/sinus infections that we could never quite keep under control. Since we have started treatment, we have not had one ear infection! I did recently take Liam to the doctors office for a cold, and the doctor said his ears looked great and his lungs sounded clear! This was the best feeling ever! Liam's speech delay is completely gone, and we eagerly anticipate him being discharged from speech therapy in the very near future. Through this whole journey, the most amazing thing that has happened so far is the day I asked Liam, "who are you?" and he said, "Liam." The verbal and cognitive skills required to meet this milestone are so important, and of course I teared up....I am so proud of him! Liam's frequent fevers are mostly gone, as is his congestion. Liam's speech therapist often points out that "he is like a completely different kid" since we started treatment! Now the important thing is that although Liam has come such a long way and is doing awesome, a follow up swallow study is still showing abnormalities with his ability to swallow. The risk of aspirating and possible resulting illnesses such as pneumonia, are still high and need to be monitored. Until recently, there were no effective methods for treating dysphagia. However, in August we met with our developmental doctor, Dr. Kuchinski, and she explained there is now a therapy called VitalStim that can actually help improve Liam's ability to swallow.

VitalStim is a therapy which works through the use of PAINLESS Neuromuscular Electrical Stimulation (NMES). Electrical stimulation is used to aid muscle strengthening to "rehabilitate" the swallow.We are hoping as an added benefit that Liam will have an improved sensory awareness of the food he is eating, since this seems to be one of the areas he is weak in. Basically, what happens is a therapist will attach electrodes to Liam's neck which will provide stimulation to the target muscles, and this will occur during a meal. We have completed an evaluation with Good Shepard and Liam has qualified for 3 sessions per week.  I believe we will start in the next week or two. With all of this being said, our first week will be about seeing what Liam can tolerate. I have been assured that this therapy is absolutely painless, although there may be some funny sensations. One of the reasons I really think Liam will do well with this is that one of the first suggestions our OT gave us was to get Liam an electric toothbrush for additional stimulation, which he absolutely loves!

If you would like more information on this therapy I am including the link here: http://www.goodshepherdrehab.org/services/pediatric-rehabilitation-developmental-pediatrics-allentown/outpatient-rehabilitation-and-4

Our little warrior has once again struggled through adversity and beat it! We are so amazed by him each and every day, and even more so now that he is developing faster than we can even handle. He is such a joy to be around for each and every one of us, I just couldn't imagine our world without him. He has improved not only my life, but me as a person. Whenever I am having a bad day, I just imagine his cute little giggle and he lights up my day!

For now, the Nagy family could not be happier with how everything is going! Of course, we would appreciate some positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers that this therapy is effective and we no longer need to mix the lovely thick- it into Liam's fluids.... or worry about him drinking the bath water! Of course we know that whatever the outcome, we are just so lucky and blessed with our miracle and we have such an amazing bright future ahead.

Love to all, I will keep you updated with our progress!

The journey of Giving: A blessing in disguise

For some reason lately, I have been reflecting on the act of giving. Not giving gifts in the physical sense, but more giving of self. Perhaps it is because I feel I am constantly giving everything I have all day long, or maybe it is the concept that I never realized how much I had to give until I became a mother. Even at 19 months, this whole role of motherhood still never ceases to amaze me. I have been on journeys I never could have dreamed of, and I now realize it was not only necessary, but worth it to get to where I am at this point in time (as difficult as some moments were.) There is a very real truth to the saying motherhood is the only place you can experience heaven and hell at the same time. Anyhow I digress....

From the very first moment I wake up in the morning, my thoughts are not my own, but directed towards my family, my job, my house, and the "agenda." I have consistently struggled to find a few moments for me in the last 19 months, but now I have it down pat. As long as there is something in the day I can call my own, weather it be my warm cup of coffee in the morning, my bike ride at lunch, or my pedicure on the weekend, my sanity is intact. I am not sure if this is true for every new mother, but this sudden absence of taking myself into account was alarming. I have always been very invested in MY future, MY needs, MY interests. Just like that, suddenly  "I" was gone in an instant. I was not shocked by how unselfish I quickly became, rather, how easy it was. There were days I didn't shower, I didn't have coffee, and I didn't sleep; eventually it took its toll and I looked in the mirror and realized the person looking back was a complete stranger. Since that very moment in time I have forced myself to connect with this person I now am, GIVE myself just one thing I want - no matter how small. As a matter of fact, I have gotten quite good at this...my husband spent the the majority of his time last night setting up our road bike on an inside trainer with a cadence sensor for me. I was happy he reminded me of that fact, it is important that I continue to strive towards this goal to never lose myself again. It is an ongoing challenge, when pieces of you go missing with your first waking moment in the morning. In the beginning I needed to take baby steps, and that lead me to where I am today. Most of my daily routine is of course dedicated to my little sunshine : ) and my amazing husband....what is left is evaporated into my job, which I am very dedicated to. Then comes immediate family, extended relatives, appointments, making/cleaning up dinner and other loose ends like making sure there is food (and COFFEE) in the kitchen. I assume that this is where I began to ponder this topic - how is there anything left to give to anything else. What happens when your tank is dry and the reserves are empty??? How do we manage to find a few minutes for yourself each day? My answer came to me tonight - you just do. I am a firm believer that moms have superpowers, we just need to tap into them. I have discovered that at the end of the day, after the insanity of appointments, meetings, errands and information overload I kiss my munchkin, and spend a few minutes with my husband... and all of my pieces return to me, and I feel whole again. Ironic right? This role of motherhood that almost once stole my identity, has also has returned it to me. I know without a doubt becoming a mom has made me a stronger woman and a better person overall. One of the reasons I find fascination with motherhood is because this role is somewhat of an enigma to me. I watched my mother give,and give and give, and she gave so much that she eventually gave UP. I still to this day don't completely understand it completely, but somehow illness and her inability to put the bottle down resulted in losing her at the delicate age of 6. It was a known fact that she was going to "leave us" to go to heaven. My mom and I used to talk about what color heaven was. Even if she didn't tell me (in other words) I saw her struggle through the end stages of liver disease, and even at my young age I knew something was terribly wrong. We even have an oversized oil painting with my two older sisters and I standing around her, all of us in white including her. This painting haunts me to this day. Her expression was morose; she knew. It makes me sad, that the three of us girls could not complete her at the end of the day as Liam does for me, even if my dad was out of the picture by then. It is tragic to me that all the she gave to create her family did not in turn perfect her life to the degree I feel my family does. As a mother I can agree the constant giving can be draining, but it is hands down the highest honor I have ever had, and gives me nothing but joy. After my mother passed away, my father stepped up and created his own business and did very well, I didn't comprehend all he sacrificed to give our family a good life. I saw a very unhappy, grumpy man that I felt sad for all the time. Looking back, what my father did for us behind the scenes, was amazing. I am very lucky to have the relationship I have with my father after all we have gone through.  My sister closest in age, learned everything their was about giving from a very young age. Being less than 2 years older than me, she took over the house chores, taught me how to do my hair, and pretty much became my mother hen. I know it wasn't easy, I was a clingy kid with confidence issues who had night terrors (and we shared a room). The support my sister provided me, the role she took on meant losing a part of her childhood, sacrificing something I will never fully understand. Every thing I know about motherhood comes mostly from what she and a few other phenomenal women taught me over my years, including my godmother, my grandmoms, and my aunts. My sister is an amazing mother. She is tough on her kids, has very high expectations, and would do anything for them. We often comment about how happy it makes us that they will never know some of the hardships we experienced.

So to sum up this long post, I am urging moms out there- please take time for yourself! Start today! Start with baby steps, like taking 5 extra minutes for HOT coffee. You will find that in all the giving you do throughout the day- you need to give to yourself as well! If you find the ability to include yourself, you send yourself blessings tenfold each day! You will remain connected to the single most important person in your corner...YOU!