Rolling with change...

Since Valentine's Day, we have been busy bees. This past week Liam wasn't the only one that was recovering from a cold. After attempting to seek treatment for my sinus infection at the local urgent-care since I am currently in between primary doctors, my antibiotics/steroids didn't work and I ended up in the ER with some rare ear infection known as bullous myringitis. Basically, I was in terrible pain, and I was told I had blisters on my ear drum that were bleeding. I was given numbing ear drops and sent home with a new antibiotic, and Percocet. I have finished the antibiotic and have thankfully not needed any pain medication....however, I am still unable to hear completely and have been told it can be up to a month before my hearing may be fully restored. Looking back, I cannot say I am surprised. I have not been focused on my own health, in fact I have pretty much been blatantly ignoring it. Lately I have been caught up in working on house projects in addition to appointments with Liam, let alone stress with work. I have found out recently that I will be placed under new management at work due to a reorganization. I find that it is odd that this is stressing me out, when I was on the floor or in the field changes in management were constant. However, they never changed my day to day responsibilities. Now that I work in a corporate position, feeling connected to your boss is a huge deal, especially when you have a child that seems to be sick all the time...being reassured that the work would always be there waiting was a big deal for me. I was very resistant to this change, I am at a point in my life where for one second, I just want one of the staples in my life (for the past year anyway) to remain constant. Well, I am not going to get what I want, and as always have talked myself into rolling with the changes. We will see where it goes....I have been told that I am strong in my position and I will do well, although it feels painful for me to have to leave the team I have become so close with. Anyhow, I have now met with a new primary physician through Lehigh Valley, and she is right up the street from our house. After everything I have been through with doctors, it is hard for me to like them. My first meeting with this doctor went great! and I am hopefully on a new road to better health!

In other news I took Liam to the ENT on 2/19. First, Liam's hearing test came back normal! I was so happy, and now we can move forward onto other issues. The PA at Allen ENT told me that sometimes when babies have recurrent infections after tube placement the actual tubes can be the cause of infection which is why sometimes they need to be swapped; however, since Liam always presents with multiple symptoms and also his tubes looked patent and dry on this day- replacing his tubes will not be the solution for him. (*HAPPY DANCE*) I was given the name of a pediatric allergist, and I made the appointment first thing when I got home! Unfortunately, we will not be able to be seen until 4/7. In the days following the appointment, we noticed Liam starting to rub his eyes, and also his ears began to bother him.... and then we started to see that familiar drainage from his eyes and nose. Today, Liam was not himself all day, he seemed fussy most of the day and just wanted to be held- and smiles were no where to be found. This afternoon his temperature was 100.3, and we gave Motrin and crossed our fingers that this was teething. After we put him to bed, Liam was making some strange sounds after we put him in his crib and although his breathing was alright our little man was burning up. We caught his fever at 102.5, and gave him some Motrin and will see what the doctor says in the am. He has been off of antibiotics for less than a week this time. In the meantime, lots of fluids and sleep and I will update once we have a plan.

On a more positive note, we are happy to say that we have raised some money for the Lauren's Hope Foundation. Olympus had a "snowman charity fundraising competition", and we won! Out of eight other charities, employees at Olympus voted the most on our table where we had set up an educational poster about LHF and Liam's story, as well as a homemade snowman wearing Liam's cool cap. The winner was announced Friday night at Revolutions in Bethlehem, during a happy hour for the company. We raised $1,000 and also a camera to auction at the Butterfly Ball! Liam had a blast dancing to the music the band played, and also posed for a picture next to the big trophy! We continue to strive to raise awareness for this amazing foundation, and to get their name out into the community! That's all for now, we all need some much needed rest!

12 month vaccinations, our best friends, and worst enemy

Hi everyone, I wanted to give you a little update on Liam, and share the adventures of our Valentine's Day. The husband and I were both lucky enough to take off of work on 2/14. Of course, we wanted to spend it together as a family. I commented to my husband on Friday, that this was our 10th valentines day together....where does the time go??  Pre Liam Vday's were filled with all kinds of romantic things including gifts, and going out to fancy places etc. This year, my husband didn't get me roses, and honestly- I couldn't care less. Between last year and this year, Valentines day, just like every other moment of our lives, is now focused on spending time as a family and cherishing our little man. The day started with us venturing to King of Prussia to see our neurologist, Dr. Boo. We were on the road in enough time, however, we heard on the radio that there was an accident on the turnpike that shut the road down. We decided to get off at Lansdale, in order to avoid being late. We were still going to be about 15 minutes late, and I decided to call the office and let them know. Before I could get through to the office, they were calling me..... I figured this couldn't be good. We were told that the Dr. had gotten stuck in the traffic from this terrible accident and would not be able to make our appointment time as the road would be shut down for some time. We decided we would stay in the vicinity for the morning to see if we could hopefully get an afternoon appointment. Luckily, we got to stay with some friends that were only 20 minutes away. After about 2 hours, were we called and told the doctor was able to get to the office and we could have a 12:30 appointment. I was so happy we were going to be able to make the appointment!

Dr. Boo gave Liam a great report. I love Dr. Boo is because she is very experienced with brain injuries, but she is also a parent....so she is able to put everything into perspective for us. Our original neurologist gave us scary stats and basically told us even though Liam seemed great only time would tell, as a parent this is so scary to hear when all you want is just a little reassurance. I will never forget the way he approached us in the NICU- he barely touched my baby (you call that an exam!!?!)  and then told us his EEG results came back abnormal....I don't remember anything after that because I completely lost it. We weren't told what it meant, the doctor gave us no reassurance that Liam's outlook could improve, and then we were sent home with Liam on Phenobarbital. At our follow up the doctor had the guts to come in and ask us what medications Liam was taking... (Umm how about the one YOU prescribed after his birth injury and seizures and abnormal EEGs!!!!) My husband and I were stunned that this doctor couldn't even review a chart before sitting down with us = infuriating. (As a nurse, I don't know why it surprises me I have seen it a million times, but it just wasn't acceptable for MY baby!)  I came out and asked this doctor if he had ever cared for a baby with Liam's condition, his answer was no. Liam was the first baby to go through the head cooling process at LVH, so I cannot say I am surprised.....that was the last time we took Liam to see that doctor.

After Dr. Boo checked Liam out her exact words were, "he is almost out of the woods, but I would like to continue to see him." What Dr. Boo then explained is that it will be important to watch Liam over the next year, and possibly longer, because the myelination process in the nervous system will not have completed until that time (basically this has to do with the signals in the nervous system that are still developing.)  I hate to be technical, and Dr. Boo explains it SO well, but basically, until this process is completed, it will important to monitor Liam neurologically. He will not need anymore EEG's or MRI's unless there are changes, but Dr. Boo would like to see him again in 3 months.  After a physical assessment Dr. Boo felt Liam has no tone issues, and she also feels that his verbal babble is great but encouraged us to go ahead with speech therapy. Every little step in the right direction makes me SO proud of our little warrior!

Next, we decided to enjoy the day and ate lunch at Cheesecake factory. We had a great time, I think Liam enjoyed my pasta more than his chicken quesadillas. Before we knew it we were off to the pediatricians office for a follow up with Dr. V.

Dr. V. explained that Liam's ears look great, however, we brought up our concerns about the fact that he has needed two antibiotics since the tubes were placed. Dr. V. explained that the first set up tubes are always plastic, so if these end up not working, tungsten metal tubes can be placed. *We are hoping Liam doesn't need to have his tubes replaced!*  I asked Dr. V. about allergies. He explained that if the ENT agreed, we could trial Zyrtec to see if this helps with his constant congestion which leads to the ear infections. I was SO happy to hear that he was on board with this! Also, by Liam's 15 month appointment we could hopefully test Liam for allergies. Dr. V. explained that babies cannot be tested before this time because they will still have some components of the mothers blood, which could make the test very inaccurate. Before leaving for the day (since we were the last appointment) Dr, V. held Liam for a few moments, he truly does care about our son so much!

Finally, the nurses came in to give Liam his 12 month vaccines. We didn't get these done on the last appointment since his birthday party was the following day. I didn't realize this, but Liam was going to get his pneumococcal vaccine which he had before, but now also two new vaccines including the MMR, and the chickenpox vaccine. I have never questioned any vaccines that Liam got. I originally had them wait as long as they could to avoid any seizures, but once we were through that it was smooth sailing. I was vaccinated for most of these things, and my husband and I agreed Liam would be also. Originally I didn't think it was going to be all that bad, probably just like the other times he got vaccines. But oh! was I wrong. Thank goodness my husband was holding him, because he screamed the entire time he was getting injected with all of them. He screamed bloody murder. I couldn't watch, I don't think I was even breathing, it felt like a year before it was over! There were 2 nurses in the room, and one told me, "these ones do sting a lot more than the ones he got in the past." When it was finally over, I realized I had squeezed my eyes shut so hard I was tearing, the nurses handed me a tissue and told me "were all moms, we get it."  Just then, the receptionist came into the room, she told us Liam had the saddest scream she had ever heard...the staff then left to go get our little man his FIRST lollipop, which instantly made him smile! It didn't last long before it ended up on the ground, but at least it served it's purpose. We didn't have to give Liam Motrin once over the weekend, when I bathed him I noted the bumps on his arms from the shots...but nothing seemed to bother him. I was happy the worst part of that was over!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day!!!!

"MOM!"

This morning, while sitting at the highchair eating oatmeal, Liam looked at me and said "MOM!" I almost cried, I have been waiting SO long for this. Since then, Liam has been saying many "momomom" chains, and I love, love love love it! Liam has been much more verbal since starting in the toddler room. He makes different sounds and is babbling a lot. I love to listen to his baby talk.

This morning, Liam's first appointment was with the NICU pediatric rehabilitation clinic. This appointment is where Liam will be assessed by a physical therapist, and then the results will be sent to the NICU doctors, and we will meet with them in March. I really appreciate the efforts of our follow up program to put the entire picture together. At Liam's 6 month follow up, he scored a 95% on his skills at that time. Today, he did amazing as well. There were a few things the therapist pointed out that I never would have even thought of, such as the way he sits in a W, with his knees in front of him and his feet bent backward behind him off to the sides. The therapist explained this would be something to watch, as Liam should be sitting in many different positions, in order to use his core muscles. The therapist also set up an obstacle course for Liam which he aced. First, Liam kicked a ball around the hallway, which helped show how fast he could go, and how coordinated his movements are. Liam then had to walk over an uneven surface, where he struggled a bit, before showing off his strength by climbing "uphill" on an incline while holding the therapists hands. After that, Liam even was able to go up and down some steps (while holding hands)! Liam even attempted to walk on a beam, this skill didn't go so well- however, the therapist was showing me what he is now capable of with assistance, and will be able to do independently on his own in the next few months. So proud of our little man! While our therapist said Liam was doing phenomenal, she advised that it would be best for us to have Liam monitored monthly if possible, since the next few months are huge for his development. With this great report, I whisked him away to our next appointment.

Now we met with a speech therapist for an evaluation. These evaluations are painstaking. It is so hard to score your baby on what they do or don't do. Babies skills change all the time, they come and go, they "take breaks" at times when their is other monumental stages of change occurring. Liam waved "bye bye" consistently for a month or so, but this stopped a week or two ago and we haven't seen him wave since. Justin and I both got to be at this eval since it took place at Liam's daycare, which makes me so happy because we can both put our input of the last few weeks. It might sound crazy, but some days the difference in what my husband and I see in our son is like night and day, depending on who takes him in the am or pm, meal time, diaper time, play time, etc. There are days when I am getting ready to go to bed thinking about the constant crying and tantrum throwing that I say something to my husband like, "Oh my goodness I hope tomorrow is better!" My husband will look at me and say, he was great with me today when I had him. Because of this, it is always helpful to have the input of both parents to complete the evaluation. When the therapist asked us if Liam waves bye bye, we looked at each other, and just told the truth. We know he can- but neither of us has seen him do this in at least a week. Right now this development has gotten tucked away for the moment so he could focus on something else. I also made sure to share Liam's background with his ear infections and tubes, etc. After the eval, we were told Liam was at an 8 month speech skill set and that Liam will qualify for therapy. We were told that these evaluations are not completely accurate at this age due to the variability in the scoring. The speech therapist does not feel that Liam is going to have any trouble meeting his full potential with a little extra help! We have complete confidence that our son just needs a little more time. Although he was born full term, being on so many medications, including Fentanyl, Versed, and Phenobarbital during the first week of life took time away from him developmentally. In addition, Phenobarbital is a very strong medication, and Liam was on this for roughly 4 months to prevent seizures while his EEG's were still abnormal. I can only imagine what this would be like for a baby. We were reassured multiple times that there were no negative effects from the medication, but in my heart I felt as though it must be like pulling a blanket over your head! Our little man has truly been through so much, and I know with time he will reach full potential.

I have come down with an awful cold, I tried to get some extra sleep last night after not even being able to get anything in me but warm broth and choking down some mucinex. Today, I was completely wiped out and my throat was hurting SO bad. When I heard my baby boy say MOM it was all I needed to get through the day, I have now officially learned what people mean when they say moms have superpowers. If I didn't have my little man I probably would have spent the day in bed, I really felt so terrible.  After two am appointments, running back to work, somehow purchasing $200 of groceries on my lunch hour, and then covering the que until 9- this momma is WIPED. But I wanted to share my amazing news with you all! Until next time, stay safe and warm! xo

13 Months!

Hi Everyone! Today, our little munchkin turned 13 months...and we are in disbelief! We simply cannot believe how quickly time has gone by. Being a mother has been the biggest honor, I never imagined I could love so much! This little man runs my household and my heart (see picture below!)

Liam has been doing well, his physical therapist is struggling to find things to work on, as he is at a 19 month old skill set (!!) our little man is SO strong : ) he continues to amaze! We are awaiting our speech evaluation and may end up being discharged from physical therapy depending on what happens. Over the weekend, we ended up at the doctors again...for several reasons. First, the husband and I had a little miscommunication and Liam's eye drops were left at daycare so I needed to get more ordered (the doctor on call would not prescribe with a phone call.) Also, I was concerned about Liam's cough- it had gotten worse. However, when I got there it turns out little man had puss building up in his left ear, and the doctor opted to put him on Augmentin to clear up his ear and eyes, the cough I was told would just need to run it's course. Me and my husband had a long talk when I got home, as we expected the ear problems to resolve after Liam got the tubes, and we are concerned about him being on all of these antibiotics (this will be the second round since the tubes alone). Ultimately, we are hoping to get Liam tested for allergies at some point in the near future, as we feel this may be part of the problem. Allergy testing seems to be controversial in babies....so more to come on that topic.

I have been striving really hard to be "present in the moment" this month. I have really been struggling to find a balance between work, keeping up with laundry etc., working out, and spending quality time with my family. I really love blogging because it helps me find this balance. I know this might sound crazy because usually people say social media is part of our distraction.... but when I am able to blog, I feel that I can get everything out, and put the computer away for good! I have removed Facebook from my phone, and this has helped me tons to avoid distractions throughout the day. For right now, I have needed to put my workout goals on the back burner, which really sucks, but since work and family come first that's what happens. When it gets nice out again, the pup and I will be able to get at least 30-45 mins a day outside during my lunch break, and to me that's a great place to start. I cannot say I am in love with my post baby body....but the reality is me and my body have fought some pretty rough battles, so I am just trying to get to a place where I feel healthy, and not focus on the physical aspect so much. I know I want to be strong and healthy for my little boy...and honestly I never had the beach body so many woman aspire to have anyway, so my workout drive is a work in progress.  I have some big events coming up, including the March of Dimes in the end of April in which I am preparing to be a team captain, and in the end of May we are gearing up for the Laurens Hope 5K! These will require some organizing and fundraising.... we have been so fortunate to receive all of our blessings, and I want SO badly to give back all that I can to these amazing organizations which have helped us so much, fundraising and giving back will always be a part of my life! Right now being present in the moment means putting the laundry aside and running around the house chasing my little man into a deep belly laugh, and sometimes letting the dishes sit in the sink and taking care of them later at night...even sometimes the next morning (yikes!). I have found steaming vegetables a very healthy, easy way to prepare some side dishes for Liam ahead of time, so I am very happy about this. Even better, he has been loving the butternut squash I steamed! Little man still has been somewhat fussy, but his appetite is a little better. He slept through the night for the first time in over a week last night, and we couldn't have been happier to wake up feeling refreshed this morning!

It's hard to believe, but I think now I am finally able to embrace the happiness of being a mommy....not that I haven't been overjoyed the last year... it is near impossible to explain....Looking back, the last 13 months have been filled with so much pain, anxiety, and stress that it was hard to truly take a deep breath, and "be present in the moment" to enjoy my little man. When I open my arms, and my munchkin comes diving into my chest to hug me, I feel such a deep love, a connection that I don't know what I would do without each and every day.....I am able to look back and instead of becoming paralyzed by these overwhelming negative emotions from his birth injury, I think WOW! this little man came from ME, and he is SO amazing! I no longer feel so much guilt about what happened, I no longer blame myself, become resentful, and go right back to how things went bad.... (and then get stuck on the fact that I should not still be so caught up in it all!) I have come to a peace about it and am now able to wear a genuine smile withOUT the hopeless sigh accompanied right behind.....it is true that I will always wonder what might have happened if different decisions had been made or I had spoken up more, and my hope is that one day these last doubts will eventually disappear...this is not to say I don't have bad days, I don't know if that will ever be the case. For now, I am in love with the place that me and my family are at, all feels right in our hectic, chaotic, amazing world of toddlerhood : )

25 Things I Love about being the mommy of a toddler

Before you read on, please know that these things change everyday, as Liam Changes everyday. Being a new mom, I am amazed at the discoveries and abilities that take place in just 24 hours, this little miracle never ceases to amaze.... I also want to say that I am grateful for everything this little man does, but these few things in particular lift my soul!

1. The way Liam will always grab my hand when I hold out mine to him, we will walk hand in hand, wherever I lead him.

2. The way he always cuddles on my shoulder when I pick him up.

3. The way Liam cries for me if I have to leave, it hurts, but it is pure, raw, need for mommy : )

4. The way Liam goes running to the garage door when he hears the handle, this makes me melt- I love the bond my son has with his father.

5. The way Liam feeds Chloe when he is in his high chair. He has recently become a fussy eater - very unexpected, but the funnier part is that he thinks we don't know he does it!

6. Liam LOVES balloons. We still have 3 left from his birthday party, even one that talks!DISCLAIMER: Parents- please don't ever leave your child alone with ANY object that has a string, or anything that might be a choking hazard, LOL.

7. Liam LOVES baths. In fact, he tries to drink the bath water sometimes! I can't wait to sign him up for swimming class!

8. Liam discovers something new everyday. Today, he discovered my eyelashes....that one hurt.

9. Liam is starting to LOVE his books. I even created him a "book nook."

10. NO. MORE. FORMULA. and I Don't miss it for a second...we might all be drinking whole milk for a minute, but at least it's a ton cheaper : )

11. I am very hopeful that sometime soon my 23 lb. miracle will be able to CLIMB out of his car seat! He is getting heavy!

12. Liam is starting to cuddle with stuffed animals, and he loves his big brown teddy...too cute!

13. Last night, little man pulled a toy out of his toy chest....one of the little pull-a-long puppies with a string. Liam had never played with this toy before, but a few weeks ago after his birthday party we had a bunch of little kids here playing with this toy...and he must have been paying attention. Liam pulled the toy puppy around the house for about 20 minutes last night. If you would have seen this, you would understand why it makes me so happy!

14. We can play, "if your happy and you know it clap your hands" and "this little piggy!" This age is absolutely my favorite so far!

15. When I go into Liam's room in the morning, it takes him about 5 minutes of rolling around until he is ready to wake up (he takes after his momma) but then he pops up with a huge smile on his face!

16. Liam and our boxer Chloe are BEST friends! When Liam cries, Chloe sits faithfully somewhere near him until he comes down ....Chloe has become MUCH more protective in the last few months, she would do anything for our little man, despite the rough start the first night we brought Liam home....

17. We have LOTS of Lego's, which sat untouched for quite awhile....but now Liam Loves playing with Lego's!

18. Liam's great grandmother had a friend knit Liam a PSU quilt, and sometime soon we can pull this out of the closet and he can use it!

19. Liam loves to play "ball" now....he will throw the ball and laugh when you give it back!

20. Liam takes after his momma, he LOVES cheese!

21. Today, when I picked Liam up from daycare...I went to get his jacket off the rack and Liam held out his arm to help me! Yes, I know....but its the LITTLE THINGS!

22. Whenever I go to Liam's daycare, all I hear is how much they love our little man, how great he is with other kids, how much the other kids love him, and how "cute" he is!

23. I love that I can drop Liam off at kids club at LA Fitness, and he instantly makes 2 girlfriends, he will wave bye bye to me and go off and play well with friends!

24. Liam tries to help momma brush his hair and teeth, and put his shoes and socks on....he also is learning quickly to eat with utensils....although this skill has been a bit messy!

#25. More than anything, (I know every momma has a miracle) I LOVE THAT I HAVE A MIRACLE BABY, AND I GET TO BRAG ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY!!!!!!! <3

Eighteen

18....the number of days since the last time we have seen "Dr. V." Dr. Sanjeev Vasistha, our pediatrician through ABC Peds, has been awesome. We don't go very long without seeing him, for awhile we were taking Liam in for weekly "ear checks." Between the normal daycare acquired illness, on top of his asthma and terrible ear infections, we are pretty much on a first name basis with everyone in the office. They all know Liam, and he knows them, it's sad when your baby is excited to play in the peds waiting room (but they do have some pretty awesome toys!)  I can remember the moment we decided to pick this doctor during our stay in the NICU. It was one of the nights right before Liam was released, and everything had happened so quickly we were scrambling since the original pediatrician we had picked would not be appropriate given Liam's medical condition. We were looking for a doctor that was part of a large practice with OUTSTANDING experience, with open availability and also affiliated though the Lehigh Valley Hospital... as Liam's prognosis was very unclear at the time. This particular night, we happened to speak with the nursing staff about suggestions, and they kindly paged the on call doctor, Dr. Killian. We were very surprised when Dr. Killian not only came during the night shift to come and have a conversation with us about this very important decision, but we were blown away by the fact that he gave us great information and also shared some very personal stories with us. Dr. Killian explained that the head cooling program was very important to him, I won't share the details, but in so many words he explained he knew EXACTLY what we were going through with our baby. As a mother, I cannot put a price on this conversation. Dr, Killian debriefed Liam's case for us from a doctors point of view, and then also from a parents point of view. As a doctor, he of course could not assure us Liam would be "okay"... but after sharing his experience from a parents point of view, he sure lifted our spirits. He also took the time to find out where we lived, and explained that ABC Peds, a large practice, had just opened up a new site with an excellent doctor right down the road from us. This information was priceless, since most practices affiliated with LVH had locations which were in Allentown, a bit of a drive for a doctor we would need to see so regularly. It is occurrences like these that remind me over and over, that although I will never understand it, everything worked out the way it was supposed to...

Liam took to Dr. V. very naturally, and I couldn't have been happier. Dr. V. had great experience, and I never disagreed with his calls. There was one time in particular that Dr. V. instructed us to take Liam to the ER for "fluids" as he had become dehydrated with his fever and stopped drinking. He called the ER to let them know we were on our way. After checking Liam out, the doctors explained to us that although Liam was on his way to being dehydrated, he wasn't "dry" enough to get an IV - we were sent home even though Liam still wasn't taking fluids. I remember the one doctor saying, "sometimes this happens, and when they get thirsty enough, they will drink." This upset me, I knew Liam was very sick and he wasn't going to start drinking. I KNOW MY SON! Liam waited days after he was born to take a bottle, and once he started nothing could slow him down, I knew something wasn't right ....The following day, Dr. V. found out what happened, and called the chief of the ER and explained he was very upset that his instructions were not followed. This is only one of the many reasons why I will always trust Dr. V.  That very night Liam stopped wetting diapers, and needless to say we ended up in the E.R., Liam needed 2 bags of fluid, and then also ended up getting an IV antibiotic for his ear infection.

I was really hoping that our visits to see Dr. V. would be getting spread out more, I thought we had Liam's asthma and ear infections under control. I guess I should have knocked on wood, because Liam ended up with conjunctivitis. As soon as my husband brought him through the door last night, I knew. I know my son, I don't care what is normal for other babies, eye buggies are not his thing, unless he has pink eye. Of course, as always with babies, its NEVER just pink eye...its always 3 different things at once. Liam went down in his crib before 8pm last night (early for him), after being very fussy, not eating, putting out wet green eye buggies and starting with a fever (only 100.5 at bedtime last night.) Sometime around 10, Liam started crying, and as he cried he became more upset then usual, and started screaming. We found him in his crib holding on, as if for dear life, and then we realized...his right eye was pasted shut. The poor little man was scared because he couldn't see at all out of that eye, it was so sad. Once I was able to wipe the nasty gook away, I could already see the puffiness starting- but little man was thankfully already fast asleep now that all was better with his eye. 

Of course this am, Liam's eye was pasted shut again when I went into check on him, I knew I had to call out of work. I couldn't be more lucky to have the job and manager I have. Family is priority, they have met my little man and fallen in love with him just like everyone else! They never give me trouble about taking off or making time up, they know I don't abuse the privilege and I have shown that I can handle making up the lost time. I was able to get Liam into see Dr. V. at 10:20 this morning. Of course, his temperature was a little elevated, 99.5, Liam's lungs were very congested even after getting his normal medication for asthma, and he had started with a runny nose. Dr. V. called in an eye drop for his pink eye, and I was to double Liam's normal asthma treatment in addition to giving him albuterol every 4-6 hours as needed for his upper respiratory infection. For the runny nose we do saline drops and suction 4 times a day. Dr. V. always makes sure to remind me, "one day it will all be better" ... I usually laugh when he tells me this not only because I am still waiting for "that day" when Liam's immune system can beat these little germs- but also because to me in a different sense everything IS already better....compared to what it could have been! Dr. V. has been great about always getting back to us when I have questions, even calling us himself! (Sometimes he even answers the phone at the office which REALLY throws me off!) I really appreciate this as a nurse, because many doctors I have worked with just relay information through their nurses and would NEVER pick up a ringing phone! Dr. V. "knows" my son, our visits never take long, he always remembers about his medical history (HUGE deal!), he always takes the time to hold him for a few minutes, and today he was explaining to the new nurse when Liam didn't flash one smile... "he is usually a very cheerful baby." These are the things that make me smile...as a mom, I couldn't feel better about the care my baby boy gets after all he has been through. At this point we don't even bother with follow ups, Dr. V. knows we will call if Liam doesn't improve. He did mention that I should call if the fever doesn't break over the weekend, even though Liam's ears look good today he would want to check them next week if the fever persisted, just to make sure.

So we got home, and Liam was very fussy. I put cartoons on and for awhile he just dozed on his plush puppy. He wasn't interested in food, water, or milk... I let him snack on bread, crackers, yogurt, applesauce, etc. I can't blame him after all his poor eye was so red (and then the other eye started- go figure)! I ran upstairs to grab the laundry and when I came downstairs my little man had thrown up all over himself! He hadn't even cried, he was perfectly happy, up walking around and playing. He actually seemed to feel better! I am praying this was a single occurrence, and we are not dealing with a GI bug! After he puked, Liam was tired and went down for a nap, which gave mommy time to blog!

I don't know when, but hopefully one day soon the number 18 will be much, much higher!!! Until then, here's to praying everyone in our house isn't puking at 3 am!

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Latest on Liam

So I know everyone loves to hear how Liam is doing, and that is one of the reasons I was inspired to write this blog. Sometimes my updates would be WAY to long for Facebook. As many of you may know, Liam was recently diagnosed with baby asthma. Our poor little guy has also had multiple bouts of croup, as well as bronchiolitis - there were times Liam had both at the same time.  After months of being on albuterol nebulizers Liam still had some noted wheezing. I remember when Justin took Liam to see the pediatrician and we were told that even though his wheezing had not been audible, the reason Liam wasn't sleeping through the night was most likely because he felt like there was an "elephant sitting on his chest." I felt so bad for our little man, and was hoping he could catch a break sometime soon. When daily singular didn't clear up the issues Liam was put on a steroid nebulizer called Budesonide. Fortunately, since Liam started this medicine his breathing has improved! He still needs an occasional albuterol treatment here and there, but overall his asthma has been well controlled. Liam was also treated for 5 ear infections during his first year. In the beginning of December, Liam had Eustachian tubes placed. During the first follow up with the surgeon, we were told one of Liam's tubes was blocked with dried blood from the initial surgery.  We were hoping the ear drops would help clear up the blood, and it did! After this, Liam continued to have thick drainage that was starting to block the tubes.  Liam has been on 2 different types of ear drops to help control the drainage, and when these didn't help clear up the drainage the doctors prescribed a strong antibiotic for Liam to take. We recently finished this and it seems like the drainage has cleared up. We are very hopeful that the tubes are a success and Liam wont need another procedure. Usually after the procedure the babies get a hearing test to check their hearing, many times the ear infections cause scarring in the ear and this can impact the babies ability to hear. Liam has not been able to have his hearing test completed due to all of the drainage.  Hearing loss can contribute to speech delays. We recently had Liam's 12 month well visit with our pediatrician, and although Liam makes plenty of noise he is not consistently making 3 sounds that "have meaning." The doctor requested the county complete a speech evaluation. I feel strongly that Liam is going to do just fine, but I am concerned that he may have a bit of hearing loss. Also, he did just start in the toddler room where he is exposed to much more talking then in the infant room and I am sure his "words" are right around the corner. Liam also just started on his round of 1 year follow ups. So far the only one we have completed is with the developmental doctor. Her name is Kimberly Kuchinski, she is the Program Director of Pediatric Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation at Good Shepard. We are blessed to have such an amazing team of doctors. Justin took Liam to this follow up, and the report we got was great. Dr. Kuchinski says Liam is doing great, developmentally he is exactly where he should be, we had some minor concerns over the past year about some of Liam's mannerisms, and we were reassured that Liam is not showing any abnormal signs of development. We were warned that he will still need to be watched closely, as Liam is still at high risk in the upcoming year for "tone issues." Liam will continue with physical therapy twice monthly as well as all of his other follow ups. We are so proud of our little boy! Upcoming appointments include seeing our neurologist, Boosara Ratanawongsa (Dr. Boo.) Dr. Boo used to be a neurologist at the Lehigh Valley hospital, however  she left to work in King of Prussia at the CNNH, the Center for Neurological and Neurodevelopmental Health. We were strongly urged to travel to see her as she has a great reputation, after not initially being happy with the neurologist through the Lehigh Valley hospital. Liam and I will be traveling to see Dr. Boo on Valentines day, and I am expecting a great report and will update further on our appointment later. We also will need to have our follow ups with the NICU clinic. This is a 2 step process in which we see the therapy department first, scheduled sometime in Feb. and then we see a NICU doctor in March. The clinic follow ups are important because the results of the head cooled babies goes to a national study, and as a nurse I know how important these studies are to getting this treatment the recognition it deserves. I am currently unhappy with the availability of the rehab appointments, as they have canceled two appointments with us after I changed my work scheduled! and only have a few spots open per month. I have put a call in to the director of the department in hopes that we can work something out. I will update more on these appointments soon. Liam continues to amaze me everyday with his development. He now brings me his shoes in the mornings and even tries to put them on himself. He also like to try to help mommy with brushing his unruly hair. He loves warm baths and as far as eating we have NO trouble in that department. He recently started walking, and we can't slow this little man down- he's like the energizer bunny that never stops! He is constantly getting into everything, he loves unraveling the toilet paper in the bathroom, and we can always make him giggle even when he is in the middle of crying. His best friend is our furry boxer Chloe, I couldn't ask for more. Everyday I am blessed. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't THANK GOD for these miracles. I don't know how I got so lucky as a wife and mother. Tonight we are going to attend our friends super bowl party-  oddly enough, this was the FIRST event we attended with Liam after everything happened last year. He slept through most of it, and everyone was happy to meet him finally. What a difference a year makes.